painful.

i'm in so much pain.... its this pain that is frustrating... my body is a prison.

im feel full of evil water.  

heavy liquid pulling my spine to the ground.

i cannot move any way and find comfort.

pillows give no relaxation.

blankets become hot so my legs use the little strength they have to kick them off... but then i feel cold.

i walk to get medication...

its as though my legs are knee deep in sand.

my eyes wont focus.

hair is plastered to my forehead.

the evil water remains there... sloshing against my muscles till they are beaten and bruised.

medication does little.

if anything it will take an hour to kick in.

an hour of this hell.

i'm irritable.

the light bothers me.

chattering voices piss me off.

my palms hurt.

my legs contort stretch recoil to ease my pain and bring comfort.

i fall on whatever surface is available.

my answers are short quick and concise.

i have no patience.

my brain feels the rising bog inside its skull 

go away

go away 

go away

go away

go away

i think about the things that have bothered me lately and wonder if it was me... or the pain, dormant inside.... reacting... 

i'm irritable.

i'm terrible.