and i'm a complete jerk...
i hate being embarrassed.... like.. REALLY embarrassed... my mom and i started yelling at each other and i called her an idiot... she called me some mean things too... i know its not REALLY her fault for throwing the check away...
christmas is such a mess of trash.. and an opened envelope could easily get thrown away...
i was just frustrated and wanted her to randomly admit to anything so i could have a scapegoat and not have to own up to my grandparents.
micah is such a sweet brother...
he just came and sat down by me and put his arm around me...
my dad is really patient and understanding too... I called to ask him what I should do and he just calmly addressed the situation and told me i had to be brave.
I'm really lucky to have such nice men in my family...
I don't give them enough love and credit.
Sometimes I even sorta forget about them.
like... the dominant people when i think of my family really are my sister and my mom...
my dad's taking my mom to the symphony tonight...
that was so random.
but my mom just told me while she was walking around and...
idk why but i just thought that was beautiful.
i wish my parents had more money to do things like that all the time...
it seems like a lot of people get to do stuff like that but they don't really appreciate it like my parents would.
it's interesting how many little things are beautiful.
like my dad taking my mom to the symphony...
like that i got to draw birds that look like real birds today...
like micah coming and sitting by me on the couch and giving me silent kindness and then telling me i was courageous.
How can my God be so beautiful?
that knowledge, is like a cushion for my heart when it fell.
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