"someone's here to see you..."
edward comes nervously around to my doorway.
he's missing his two front teeth and he's sorta doing that blank little kid expectant stare...
he brought me his cup of animal cookies from church tonight.
(my heart is sooo full)
i gave him a hug and showed him my cranes and let him pick...
he chose the only large white one.
i love edward so much.
he is my favorite.
i walked him out to the car so i could say hi to everyone else...
they are so adorable...
everyone so excited to see me and shouting...
anita OF COURSE kept shouting about how different i looked... taller she said...
amauble had a huge bandaid on his forehead from where he cracked his head open...
my little brother said casually when i came in the house that it was edwards idea to swing by our house...
that when he got his animal cookies he immediately told mom that he wanted to come and give them to emily...
he insisted she stop by the house so he could come see me.
i love that little boy.
its amazing to see how your significant love for an individual makes them like... blossom.. bloom... bubble up with returning love...
this is the little boy who can't sit still in class and causes too much trouble...
he's being forced to repeat kindergarten.
but around me... because i honestly see him as so bright and significant... he tells jokes.. is well mannered and all around one of the most thoughtful and sweet tempered little boys i've ever known.
i keep getting kinda weirded out...
cause... like... i keep thinking about how kids grow up...
you can't always have a significant relationship like that when it goes over different genders...
i can't be like... edwards reason to succeed.. thats weird.
you know?
but i'm just not good with girls...
thats why i want to have at least 3 boys...
i sorta want 1 girl... so i can do girl things with her...
but... boys are so much just... BETTER.
and if it was my own boy... i wouldn't have to worry about its being weird to love them so much.
it sucks that i even have thought about this...
that a sweet moment with a precious little boy would become slightly sad cause i have to think about how you act later...
maybe it will take care of itself...
he'll grow out of liking me so much and be just like... cool with me like jaffedy ...
but thats sad too.
it just sucks how you can't be GOOD friends with people without its being weird sometimes.
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