Thursday, December 25, 2008

farandole and peter/wendy

I'm rereading some of Madeliene L'engle's books,
Currently: A Wind in the Door
and my mother just turned on the television and Peter Pan was on.

It's flooded my mind with weird thoughts... personal analysis. I've recently been criticized for constantly thinking about myself, and though I admit I do act selfishly sometimes I think that I just have so many thoughts that analyze my own self that its difficult to move past it onto other things...
"all for want of a horseshoe nail..." and all that ...
we're all connected... and if a person couldn't yet understand the need for a nail for the horse's shoe how could a person ever fully grasp why the message was never delivered?



I've had a lot of connecting thoughts between the faraendola and mitochondria... the need for them to "deepen." My calling and all that... to grow up...
I don't want to... I want to stay and enjoy things forever... like drinking iced tea lemonade that my mom bought. simple pleasures... protected...
the ability to not worry about the lower parts of Maslow's pyramid in order to ascend unto the appreciation of beauty... which is something that markedly keeps me little.

Its figured out then. A great part of the reason for children's ability to "wonder" is that they have not the worries of money and safety.
it seems that after the fall so many things became hindrances and its only until they are taken care of one can enjoy freely the earth's gardens.

Peter pan and wendy are like two parts to my soul. A sort of loving balance. In growing up the correct way one must be able to allow Wendy to grow up (and like the boy from the Little Prince, put on the face of an adult only breaking out one's boa constrictor drawings for those who seem to have maintained childlikeness) and yet allow Peter to stay young forever.

"peter pan had countless joys that other children can never know, but he was looking at the one joy that he would be forever barred."

I have to find a way to enjoy the hardships of growing up.
and maintain inside of me a child.



It's commanding Sporos to deepen. inside of me.
understanding what Sporos said, "It is only when we deepen that we are truly able to move."

aggreeing that my place in the universe cannot be stagnant (an easily unnamed, useful tool for hell/ecthose/satan, a nothingness) but that I'm essential, especially when I come of age...

I know not a lot of this makes sense...
but I think it would make a wonderful concept for an art theme.

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