watching the sun dart across the grass as it set.
i made a pb and j, took grahm crackers, apple sauce, a cutie, some cereal and some iced tea and read some Crazy Love.
I really want the Lord to fix my heart and make it not so wicked.
I must be incredibly wicked.
i'll read you some notes i wrote:
" A quiet, unshared dusk is just the sort of thing you'd like to gift to someone and just the sort of secret you'd like to keep all to yourself."
-emily
-if to see the face of God is to love God
then i must be truly wicked
or I must not ever have seen his face.
I think these are both right.
I am wicked and therefore praise myself upon seeing only God's pale shadow....
merely grazing my toe against one small thread of his robe thats poking out of the temple door and i'm congratulating myself on my great abilities... and OH how much must he want ME for his kingdom?!
How then DOES a person fall in love with Jesus? I believe I was once, but it has altered upon becoming diluted with love for myself.
-vanity has taken my eyes from Jesus and I am trapped. Any good work I do is in the open. It could be a seemingly "humble" action but just as long as people see it i'll do it proudly.
- I know that means my reward is on earth.... but that just shows how little I seem to care about Heaven.
- I have self righteousness versus righteousness.
Truth:
(Is not sexy, so its not an easy sell - Derek Webb)
-truth IS attractive though.
and identifiable.
it smells like a man who just came in from working the earth all day.
it feels like sweat and dirt getting a well deserved meal.
it sounds ancient and as though it has not only been sung before ut has been singing all of forever... its reverberations were just finally felt in your ears.
